I guess I’ve been crossdressing for a while now, and I suppose I’ve come to a few conclusions about things. Here’s my top 5 tips for being a happy crossdresser – they’ve worked for me so far :D
1 – Accept it
This is who you are. Regardless of what anyone else might think, there is nothing wrong with wanting to dress/look like a woman. You are not a freak. You are 100% the standard, normal, wonky human being that everyone else is. There is nothing wrong with you. I’ve never heard of anyone whose urges to dress dried up completely. Trying to bury or ignore a fundamental part of your personality will only lead to depression and darkness. It took me a while to accept myself, but if I can do it, so can you :)
2 – Figure out what you want, and work towards it
Some people only want to take things as far as wearing panties under their regular clothes. Others, such as myself, feel it necessary to go out and about into the world fully dressed. And there’s plenty more people in-between. These things are all OK. If these are things you want to do, but you feel like you can’t do them… you’re probably wrong. It’s been done. If you want to go out dressed, you can! But take baby-steps, and always consider your safety. If you feel like you’re in an area where you don’t think you’ll be accepted, take a vacation to somewhere better! Move! Change jobs! Meet new people who don’t care what you wear, but only care who you are as a person. It’s your life. You’re not hurting anyone. You have the right to be happy, and ability to make it happen.
3 – Don’t obsess about passing
Some girls will always be prettier than you. You might be thinking “But Liz, you’re so pretty!” – and that may or may not be true, but I still have severe issues with how I look, and will always look at other girls and think to myself “I wish I was as pretty as her”. I’m pretty certain I don’t pass in real life, but you know what – that’s ok. I’m taller than most girls when I’m wearing flats, and I almost always wear high heels, which puts me way above the norm. I have somewhat wide shoulders and an indelicate jaw, and I don’t even try doing a feminine voice. But, as it turns out, most people will either not notice at all, or glance over curiously for a moment or two before they get back to their own lives.
4 – PRACTICE
I have some reasonable makeup skills now, but I didn’t used to. It took time, and patience to get to a point where I felt like I could apply my own makeup and not look like an idiot. If you try putting on lipstick for the first time, and it doesn’t look right… congratulations! You’ve successfully figured out that sometimes lipstick doesn’t look good! Now you can work from there to figure out how to do it properly :D If you want a femme-voice, you have to practice. If you want to figure out how to walk in heels, you have to practice. If you want to define your eyebrows and not end up looking like a neanderthal, YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE. No one is born with these skills.
5 – Be honest
If point 1 was being honest with yourself, then point 5 is being honest with other people. I’ve heard so many stories of people lying, whether outright or by omission, about their crossdressing, and having their relationships break down because of it. Crossdressing may be a big deal to them, in which case they’ll hate you for lying about it when they find out, or it may not be a big deal at all, but they’ll still be upset that you kept something from them. My wife knew years before we were even involved that I was a crossdresser. If she found it disgusting, well, maybe we wouldn’t’ve been friends, and maybe I wouldn’t found someone who *was* accepting of it. But you need to give yourself the opportunity to find that person, and give other people the opportunity to decide it’s not for them. If you want a happy relationship… Honesty will always be the key