thoughts


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One of the first questions we ask ourselves once we realise that we’re crossdressers/transvestites is “Why am I like this? Why am I a crossdresser?” Usually it’s not from a place of genuine curiosity, but a place of shame, or of misplaced guilt, or of anguish, because we’re suddenly assaulted by this reality of being different from everyone else – not by choice, but by circumstance, as if Fate has dealt us a shitty hand that we have no choice but to play. Well, ok. That’s one way to look at it. Another way to look at it is as […]

Crossdressing: Nature or Nurture?



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This is probably one of the hardest posts I’ve had to write because I’ve desperately struggled with finding the right words to explain how I feel about this subject. Curiously enough, words, I’ve decided, are exactly the problem. (Word of warning, I’ve deliberately tried on this blog to not be too navel-gazing, but this post is exactly that, and feels a bit self-indulgent. You have been warned.) Let me preface all of this by talking about the day I am currently having. It’s a Saturday morning, and I’m sitting on my couch, wrapped up in a blanket, perching my Macbook […]

An existential answer to “What is a Crossdresser?”



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This might seem controversial and counter-intuitive, but I truly believe that for lots of reasons, passing isn’t important. Bear with me. What do we want as crossdressers? I wonder sometimes, how deeply we examine this. Take a moment to consider what you want, or even why you crossdress. Really stop and think about it. Do you want to be a woman? Do you want to look like a woman? Is it just about the clothes, or is it something more? Is it purely sexual? Is it not sexual at all, but something more elusive? Is it wrapped up in your […]

Why I don’t think passing is important





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Probably the biggest fear I have as I get older is that at some point I’ll come to a place where I feel like I just won’t look good anymore when I dress up. I’m 30 now, and every so often, when I look back at pictures from ten years ago, I can see how my face has changed. How it’s aged slightly. Where the lines will probably come in, or have started coming in just a bit. It’s not terrible so far (+1 for moisturiser!), but they are there – and in all likelihood, it’ll just get worse. Frickin’ […]

A note on self-acceptance: The sooner, the better