Boobs. You love them, I love them. British indie band Cornershop loves them, writing “Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow” in their 1997 smash hit “Brimful of Asha”. Theirs, apparently, was on the “45”, whereas mine is generally tucked away in a box in my closet, up until such a time as knockers are required.
When I first started out crossdressing, boobs usually meant scrounging whatever I had around me in order to fill up an otherwise empty bra. Scrunched up t-shirts and beanie-hats usually fit the bill (or cup?). For some reason, I eschewed most people’s default of toilet-paper, and I never tried the oft-mentioned solution of rice-in-pantyhose. But at some point, I decided it was time to step up and buy myself a solid pair of tits.
And so I did. That was maybe 11 or 12 years ago now, and they’ve lasted remarkably well, which is to say that breastforms are very much worth it. So worth it in fact, that when Glamour Boutique asked me to review some breastforms that they sell, I jumped at the chance, knowing full-well that they’d probably last me for many, many years. I also used this as an opportunity to up-size. I’d decided on C-cups back then, but figured trying out a pair of Ds would be a nice change!
The ol’ boobies come in a pink box which has the outline, if you rotate the box and squint a bit, of some boobies.
Cracking that bad boy open, you’ll see something that I like a lot: The concave back.
The concave back enables them to sit nicely on your existing nerps. I’ll talk about this a bit later. Here’s the bazongas themselves.
You can ignore the wrinkly one on the right – That’s just because it’s sitting on the concave back and falling in on itself a bit. If you pick one up, it smoothes itself out. The nipple is pretty realistic, I’d say. Maybe a bit too realistic, in as much as it’s weirding me out a bit. Also, it’s a little too prominent for my tastes.
Look at that honking thing. They’re so prominent that the box they came in has to take it into account:
When I first got my nipples pierced (fun fact!), I had to get used to the fact that whenever I wore a tshirt, you could very obviously see my nipples. Was a bit weird, but I stopped caring eventually. If the prominent nipples bother you, you can always pad the front of your bra with tissue paper or something if you have a thin bra, or wear a thicker bra/top. On the other hand, you can throw caution to the wind and dazzle onlookers with your blaring headlamps.
Weight, feel, durability and comfort.
They look hefty, but they feel lighter than I was expecting. Not too light, but not too heavy. They’re certainly lighter than my smaller breastforms. This is great. If you’re not used to having boobs, and you’re suddenly front-loaded, and then you happen to wear them for long periods of time, you might end up with a back-ache. When I test drove these puppies for a full workday, I didn’t have any back issues at all, and usually I have at least a little pain after a day of strapping on a pair of lady-melons and hauling them around the office.
As I mentioned though, they’re not too light. They still have a nice feel/bounce to them when you’re walking around, and they tend to move/jiggle as you might expect. They are pleasantly squishy, and have a smooth surface.
One of my favourite features of these forms is the concave-back, which allows them to fit very comfortably over my actual nipples. After I got my nipples pierced a few years ago, my previous flat-backed breastforms actually irritated them no end. These concave-backed ones feel very comfortable over the piercings, and don’t seem to move around as much because there’s more skin-contact, so the friction keeps them right in place.
They’re comfortable, they look good, and they seem high quality. The nipple feels a bit overkill (and maybe unnecessary) but if it bothers you, you can just pad the bra that’s holding them. My only real complaint is that the box they came in is a bit massive, and it could be a little smaller. But that’s only a minor quibble. I’ll be honest, I think the only downside of these forms is that because I got them bigger than my previous set, I’ll need to buy a whole slew of bras that can fit them. Curses.
Disclaimer: Glamour Boutique provided this product for free in exchange for an unbiased review.