I don’t know – it might be a thing that he’s had buried for a while and is coming back to the surface again in a stressful time, or it could also be that it’s just coming out of the blue – I don’t really know how common that is, but I have heard of it!

Absolutely right about validation! Even with all of our various related circumstances, I think we all share that need for validation. “Look, I can do this!” or “Look, this is who I am!”. I’d love to not feel like I needed that, but there’s definitely an element of it in there every time I post a picture.

I love your soda-bottle analogy :D I think it hits all the major points for… well, probably everyone! I definitely opened it fairly slowly, but I think the carbonation was also pretty weak. I think maybe I’m stretching the analogy a bit.

I think my termination-shock happened when I decided to tell everyone – so far, out in the world / interstellar-medium I’ve been doing ok, but I do worry I’ll get hit by a wayward asteroid or something (i.e., be a victim of some kind of x-phobic person while out and about). I guess we’ll see.

<3

*hug* thank you :) This is the first time I’ve had to deal with anything like this. I could hope that it would be the last, but unless we figure out a way to not have people die, that’s pretty unrealistic. I think you’re on-point about having other things to focus on while your brain rewires itself to deal with the new state of the universe. More than anything, I think I’ve been throwing myself into work, but the urgent need to dress while I was… waiting for my dad to die – that was absolutely a retreat into familiar territory.

Whatever works, I suppose
<3

The Soda Bottle
Having these transgender feelings is a bit like caring for a bottle of soda. It is under pressure and to prevent bursting you’ll have to open the bottle from time to time. The pressure build up can be caused by pretty much anything and differs from person to person. From not being able to be your pretty self to the genuine feeling you’re inside the wrong body to name it. You have to open it carefully though, as if you open up too fast there will be a lot of spillage and nothing left in the bottle. The spillage, depending on the pressure in the bottle can also create a mess on those standing near you. Keeping the bottle open is a solution too, if you don’t like the fizz in your drink. (but other people shouldn’t bump your bottle by accident, so you should tell them). But consider first if the fizz is essential to you before doing that approach, as a flat drink might be boring.

Looking back at this post from 2012 I find it still insightful and still feels very true for my own scenario. YMMV.
I kind of smirked when you mentioned the event horizon. when you fell through you probably left a static image residue for your observers that stayed behind while you where falling towards the singularity, maybe to be jettisoned by a white hole? Personally, the last couple of years I am thinking of the concept of the termination shock, me being this voyager probe started on this crossdressing trip a long time ago. The termination shock for me illustrates the moment that I’ll probably realise that this crossdressing is much more than a coping mechanism, that it who I am. That will be the moment I’ll have hit the termination shock and transition (bwuh, pun!) my journey in the unknowns of interstellar space. which might be weird, frightful and wonderful at the same time. But just as the voyagers have left the solar system multiple times on occasions so am I continuously re-evaluating how this termination shock looks like and how it will manifest itself.

I wish you adequate time to wind your way through the grieving process and if getting pretty is part of that, all the better.