Comments on: A harassment story.

By: Peter F. Harlow

Peter F. Harlow — Sun, 18 Mar 2018 23:13:09 +0000

No Liz You Experiences What a REAL WOMAN Feel Like When She Look a pond by a Man And Afraid. That She Will be The Next Rape Victim. Petra Suggest You Always Walk in Group or Have One of Your Co-Worker. Meet you at The Train Station You A rive At. Love Petra.

By: Male Attention (or "How To Make Me Not Like You") - My Weekend Shoes

Male Attention (or "How To Make Me Not Like You") - My Weekend Shoes — Sat, 26 Mar 2016 20:16:02 +0000

[…] it’s not just online. In public while I’ve been dressed up, I’ve had a creepy guy follow me off a train, wolf-whistles, or even people I work with who, when seeing me dressed up, gave me the full […]

By: Liz Summers

Liz Summers — Wed, 13 May 2015 13:58:14 +0000

In reply to Becky.

I think I was pretty clear that I wasn’t interested after 30 minutes of not talking to him. Also, the elbow thing? No – that wasn’t just inconsiderate – it was deliberate and invasive. If I explicitly move away from it, and then he reaches even further with his elbow into my rib cage, that’s beyond uncool.

By: Becky

Becky — Wed, 13 May 2015 10:27:55 +0000

When I started reading, I thought you were going to say that a guy touched you, or felt you up or similar.

He smiled at you, you reciprocated, that’s a bit of an invite in a social cue kind of way that can be misinterpreted.

The elbow thing, some guys do that inconsiderately.

He will have been following you for a bit, but just to ask you for coffee? That’s a crime now?

Whatever the reason for his interest, whether he was a ‘chaser’ or just thought you were attractive, wearing a ring is more likely to be a wedding ring I suppose but we don’t know if that’s from a divorce or just a ring.

Your feelings are valid, though, you were concerned, worried, it was a new and scary situation; I just don’t think every guy can be dismissed as entirely creepy for behaving in what an be seen as a civil manner.

By: Marge Holmes

Marge Holmes — Mon, 09 Mar 2015 20:09:17 +0000

This unfortunately sounds all too familiar..
I often dress whilst out and at over 6′ am not fooling too many but i reckon I pass at a casual glance
The thing that really scares and I would even say upsets me, is that I have been followed deliberately several times when all I want to do is have a quiet walk around the city I am visiting (Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, London). Given my size I have been lucky when i turn round and challenge them… and they leave me alone, but i felt so intimidated …
Hasn’t put me off though… none has the right to do that when I am doing no harm :-)
Heads up and onward !!
x x

By: Liz Summers

Liz Summers — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 15:36:25 +0000

In reply to Melanie Collins.

I probably wouldn’t’ve considered it harrassment, until he clearly started rubbing his elbow on me. I moved so that he couldn’t, and boom, his elbow was back rubbing on me again. I don’t think harrassment has to necessarily be aggressive – this was definitely invasive though.

By: Melanie Collins

Melanie Collins — Tue, 10 Feb 2015 11:05:08 +0000

Hi Liz,
I stumbled onto your blog and love it. I’m looking forward to reading all your stories but this one jumped out at me to read first.
As for your story, I’m miles older than you and have been dressing for lots longer, and I wouldn’t call it harassment, I’d only call it “trying to get to know you”. Some of your readers will say there’s no difference but I can see there is.
If he yelled up and down the train, “You’re a goddam trannie. Hey everyone, this is a trannie we have here”, then I’d call that harassment. But he was evidently quiet and reasonable by the sound of it. Maybe he didn’t follow you but his place of work is in the same direction? Evie has the best explanation as to why he wanted to talk to you, it makes sense to me.
I wish you the best of luck in life.
Melanie [in Australia].

By: 2014 in Review - My Weekend Shoes

2014 in Review - My Weekend Shoes — Fri, 26 Dec 2014 18:44:07 +0000

[…] harassed on a train – While this isn’t an accomplishment by any means, it’s important to note that it happened, and is a good reminder to all of us that, however safe we can sometimes feel, there’s […]

By: Liz

Liz — Tue, 12 Aug 2014 01:57:53 +0000

In reply to Evie Leigh.

Thanks for the compliments! :)

Yeah… That was definitely something I’d considered – that he was a fellow CD who just wanted to talk to me. That kind of all went out the window when he started rubbing his elbow against me though :/

By: Evie Leigh

Evie Leigh — Tue, 12 Aug 2014 00:32:38 +0000

Hi Liz,

I’m glad I stumbled across your blog! It’s well written and fun (except for harrassment stories of course)!

I’m gonna put a totally different spin on this incident (and hopefully not come off as creepy) taking the closeted CD perspective.

Maybe this guy was a CD also. Living here in the Bay area I’ve come across my share of ladies who either were TS or CD (mostly at Starbucks, go figure!) while I was in boymode. I’ve always wanted to say or do something to let them know I’m part of the soroity, but obviously that’s an awkward thing to try to pull off without looking like a psycho chaser or putting someone’s private business in the spotlight.

Maybe he gave you the smile from a few seats away as the “in”. Following this logic (or lack thereof) maybe once he sat next to you he wanted to let you know he was one of us. You say he was checking his phone and got more furtive as the journey continued, is it possible maybe he had pulled up the Flickr page or Facebook of his femme self on his phone and was desparately (albeit, somewhat inappropriately) trying to get you to look over by giving you a nudge?

Shoot, I should be a lawyer! On second thought, I’m not a big fan of lawyers (until I need one)

Plus, most of the true creeps don’t pounce in the daytime going to work. He wouldn’t want to risk one of his co-workers seeing him pushing up on some chick if they knew he was married. Also, I’m not sure a cretin would have just invited you for coffee, they can’t help but say something totally inappropriate and/or overtly sexual.

Anyway, just a different way to look at it. But yeah, carry some pepper spray just to be safe…

Evie