Being out, and dressing, at work. 16


Maybe if you’ve been paying attention you’ve noticed that I’m out to everyone publicly, and have been dressed to work events on a few separate occasions.

What might not be abundantly clear, mostly because I haven’t really spoken about it a great deal, is that I’ve actually been going in to work dressed fairly regularly for the better part of a year now.

I’ll let that sink in a bit.

I have been dressing up… at work… fairly regularly.

This isn’t something I’d ever dreamed I’d be able to do. Having spent so long, as I’m sure many of us have, worrying that people think we’re freaks and horrifying monsters for what we do, being able to do this has been liberating on a scale I never thought possible. On the days I feel like dressing up, I dress up. On the days I don’t (which is most of the time) I don’t. That is basically all I could ever have asked for.

I know I’m lucky to live in a place where it’s more acceptable. I know I’m lucky enough to work in an industry where it’s more acceptable. I can’t overstate how lucky I am to be where I am and be able to be who I am. It took a lot of encouragement from my wife and my friends, and the CD community in general.

Maybe if I can do it (and I still get STUPIDLY nervous shopping!) then so can you.

What have people’s reactions been to my crossdressing at work? Well… fairly normal, actually. People mostly come up to me embarrassed and ask what they should call me. I use the men’s toilets – if I was full time, I’d use the women’s, but since I switch back and forth, it’s simpler to use the men’s and have people call me by my normal, male name. No abuse. No jokes. No weird looks.

It’s just… normal. Which is exactly what I want :)

I’ve tried to take a pic every time I dress up at work – I’ve missed a few occasions (mostly because I just didn’t get one flattering enough to post online), but on the whole, this is a fairly complete representation of the days when I do dress to work:

You might be asking: “What’s next?” – the answer to which is “Nothing?” – I think, after years of struggle and guilt and shame and practice and pushing my own boundaries and finding my comfort zone, I’m finally at the place (more or less) that I want to be.

I say “more or less” since there’s still some things I’m bad at – shopping still scares the pants off me, but I guess I’ll just have to keep doing it, and, like dressing up and going out, I assume that it just gets easier.

More!

See more about my experiences Being Out, or to see more pics, click here

xx


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16 thoughts on “Being out, and dressing, at work.

  • Anna

    I’m glad you are at the stage where you feel almost comfortable. I’m stuck at the “its 12am, time to nip out and run to the post box and back” stage.

    • MyWeekendShoes Post author

      I was definitely at that stage for a whiiiile – I just ended up getting frustrated though! The thing that spurred me on the most though was taking a REALLY good photo of myself and feeling kind of proud. After that, I begun venturing out a lot more, and next thing you know, I’m out to everyone and no one cares :) sometimes, you just gotta bite the bullet – keep pushing the boundaries until you realise that you’re the one who created them :)

      (at least, that’s how it was for me)

  • Anna

    That is some good encouragement, I think as you said the only way to do it is to push myself, try not to care too much and just go out there. Stepping stones I guess.

  • Kitten

    I got referred over here from a friend on facebook and after reading this I wanted to give out support love all that good stuff. I think they referred me due to my transition at work as a city employee. Mine has been similar to yours with the understanding and support of the people in my world.

    • Liz Summers Post author

      *hug*
      That’s awesome! It’s always great to hear that other people are able to successfully be themselves, whether it’s at home, out and about, and particularly in the workplace! Just gotta keep on keepin’ on :)

      xx

  • Sarah

    I really, really admire your determination, and its great you have such accepting and supportive people around you. Attitudes really are finally changing, although it sometimes seems the pace is glacial from the inside. A BBC poll a year or so ago, suggested crossdressing is really not an issue any more for most people under 30, and even older generations are beginning to relax.

    I’m with Anna – still at the midnight postbox run stage (although I can do the dustbin in daylight occasionally!), perhaps I’ll try pushing myself a little more. My girlfriend of 18 years is extremely supportive, but is still a long way short of being comfortable the house with me – I’m curious; does your wife go out with you dressed?

  • Jaylee

    Your blog and your attitude give me hope for the human race. Good on ya, Liz! I don’t share in the CD life, myself, but am curious and interested in all sorts of things/ways/opinions that are less common, or not traditionally approved by a majority. I am truly joyful to read your sensible, self-loving, “Hey, I’m ME” posts here, and look forward to the day that more people can be like you in that respect – accepting of others, but certain enough of your own self to remain true to yourself. As my girlfriend reminds me whenever I threaten to fly into a rage over something someone else did or said, “Remember, they have a right to be wrong.”

    Best of everything to you and yours.

  • Peter Udbjørg

    I’d say this blog is quite right up my alley. I still find shopping intimitading, or stressful, so I do it as little as possible (my best buys have been mail order…).
    But keep it up, I’ll have to follw you! :D

  • TraciT

    Great pics, great site, wonderful that you’re brave, strong, and free enough to dress at work. I must say I think it’s hilarious (not in a bad way) that you will dress at work but are ‘afraid’ to shop. I assume that means shop in women’s clothing stores. I am the opposite–not dressing at work, but I love to shop. Please please go to your local Macy’s, Nordstrom, J.Crew, J.Jill (esp. J.Jill), and let them know what you’re there for. You will be amazed and gratified. The saleswomen (almost all women) are VERY used to guys like us shopping for women’s clothing, and they are VERY happy to help. (It’s not just “our money’s as good as anyone else’s” — I genuinely think, based on my experiences, that they genuinely enjoy helping a man shop for dresses and skirts that look good and feel comfortable.) The gals at my local J.Jill cannot be nicer and they’re always glad to see me.

    You’re missing out on a great experience if you don’t shop in stores, I promise. Thanks for your site!!

  • Janedon

    Ahhh—I do envy you being able to dress at work—-I’m pretty lucky(from what I read online–Wife helps with my feminization—most all our family & friends know & accept my fem side–Work is still a complication(wich makes it difficult to go out about town also)—we do go out but it’s nerve wracking worring about running into my bosses—I think there’s only two or three fellow workers who might cause problems–
    We live on a rather tight budget so can’t afford to travel & I work a lot of hrs–so not too much time either—I Sooo want to be Completely out—but think I need the lottery to do that– Jane