What might not be abundantly clear, mostly because I haven’t really spoken about it a great deal, is that I’ve actually been going in to work dressed fairly regularly for the better part of a year now.
I’ll let that sink in a bit.
I have been dressing up… at work… fairly regularly.
This isn’t something I’d ever dreamed I’d be able to do. Having spent so long, as I’m sure many of us have, worrying that people think we’re freaks and horrifying monsters for what we do, being able to do this has been liberating on a scale I never thought possible. On the days I feel like dressing up, I dress up. On the days I don’t (which is most of the time) I don’t. That is basically all I could ever have asked for.
I know I’m lucky to live in a place where it’s more acceptable. I know I’m lucky enough to work in an industry where it’s more acceptable. I can’t overstate how lucky I am to be where I am and be able to be who I am. It took a lot of encouragement from my wife and my friends, and the CD community in general.
Maybe if I can do it (and I still get STUPIDLY nervous shopping!) then so can you.
What have people’s reactions been to my crossdressing at work? Well… fairly normal, actually. People mostly come up to me embarrassed and ask what they should call me. I use the men’s toilets – if I was full time, I’d use the women’s, but since I switch back and forth, it’s simpler to use the men’s and have people call me by my normal, male name. No abuse. No jokes. No weird looks.
It’s just… normal. Which is exactly what I want :)
I’ve tried to take a pic every time I dress up at work – I’ve missed a few occasions (mostly because I just didn’t get one flattering enough to post online), but on the whole, this is a fairly complete representation of the days when I do dress to work:
You might be asking: “What’s next?” – the answer to which is “Nothing?” – I think, after years of struggle and guilt and shame and practice and pushing my own boundaries and finding my comfort zone, I’m finally at the place (more or less) that I want to be.
I say “more or less” since there’s still some things I’m bad at – shopping still scares the pants off me, but I guess I’ll just have to keep doing it, and, like dressing up and going out, I assume that it just gets easier.