Out. To everyone… On facebook. 9

So, a funny thing happened a while ago… When I posted this entry back in April, one of those photos struck me as one of my favourite pics of myself.

It was this one:

I think it’s still probably my favourite (not that I don’t try to top it each and every time I take pics!). But while I was sitting in front of my laptop (updating this blog) I began to feel a lot of different things. Things I’d felt before, but never as strongly as I did just then.

This is stupid. This is an AWESOME picture of me. Why can’t I show people?

There really wasn’t a good answer. Why couldn’t I show people? I had a sudden, somewhat dangerous, urge to just post it on facebook, and let the consequences be damned.

I talked a bit to my wife about it, and she was supportive (as she always has been – she views it very much as a “So what? Who cares what clothes you want to wear – you’re not hurting anyone!” – which, I’m pretty sure, is what we, and all reasonable people, are probably thinking). So. Big breath. Upload the picture. Come clean. See what happens.

And the reactions… Well.

I posted a very quick followup “Feel free to ask me any questions” post, if people were curious, and what I got was probably the best reaction I could’ve gotten.

To be honest, I was expecting at least a little bit of fallout coming out as a crossdresser, but there’s been nothing even remotely substantial in that sense – and it’s been almost 4 months. Granted, I’ve been leaking bits of information about it here and there, and people have seen me dressed up as a woman a little bit too well at costume-parties, so I doubt this was a complete surprise to most. Still though, ever since I so publicly revealed all of this, when I add pics on here, I end up adding a couple to my facebook folder of pics of me dressed up.

It’s been… good. Liberating, for sure – I’ve been given (really, I gave myself) the freedom to be who I want – I’m not hiding anything now. This is who I am. This is what I do, and, as it turns out, no one really gives a shit (but in that good, non-judgemental, way). I have much more latitude to experiment. A lot of people who commented there were actually people I work with, and as such, I’ve been going to work with some understated makeup, dangly earrings, and painted nails pretty much every day. I’ve had open and honest conversations about it with people. I don’t think there’s been a single downside.

That’s not to say I don’t have anywhere else to go, because I’m hardly going out every day fully dressed – that’s still a scary prospect – but at least it’s not a secret. At least I’m not hiding something because I think it’s shameful.

It’s not shameful.

It just is.

(Another post from the series Being Out.)

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9 thoughts on “Out. To everyone… On facebook.

  • Gerry

    You had it good. I posted a picture of me crossdressing and half of my family (cousins and aunts mostly) unfriended me immediately. When I see them in person they don’t talk to me. 3 or 4 friends said I look good, and that was nice, but overall the experience wasn’t that great. Ultimately I felt the need to delete my Facebook over it. Now I have a Twitter account and while I’m still open about my crossdressing, I don’t post pictures online of myself so as to not shame my family. You’re one of the lucky ones.

    • MyWeekendShoes Post author

      Yeah, definitely lucky – I’ve heard so many horror stories, I’m surprised I’ve had it so easy :/

      Part of the reason I dress up and go out so much (apart from the obvious reasons – that I want to) is to show that we’re not a bunch of dangerous weirdos – just like everyone else, we’re just people who want to get on with our lives. Not live in fear, not live feeling ashamed of something which causes no one any harm. To just be ourselves.

  • Jasmine (or Duncan, by coincidence, the other 95% of the time)

    I discovered your website today — your articles are almost exactly the sort of help and encouragement I had been looking for, as a closeted [though hopefully not for much longer] crossdresser, and they have helped to strengthem my resolve to be more open about it. Your success in embracing this side is an inspiration for so many of us who are not “out” yet. As a side note, the names thing is an amazing coincidence.